Dear Family in Christ, 

 

In February’s book club we read and discussed the book The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins. The principle of the book was simple, since we cannot control what other adults think, say, and do, we let them. Then after we accept that we cannot control another adult’s thoughts, words, and actions we take responsibility and control of our own thoughts, words, and actions. In other words, as Ms. Robbins states in her book that the formula for this theory is, “Let Them, Let Me.” That’s the motto of the book. We can’t control what anybody else thinks, says, and does. But we can control and take responsivity for our own thoughts, words, and actions.

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Back in the 90s someone recommended to my sister that she read the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It’s a little book filled with simple wisdom. My sister liked the book so much that she recommended I read it, which I did. Since then, I’ve sought to make these four agreements with myself and then to live by them.

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What are the four agreements we make with ourselves? They are: 1) Be impeccable with your word; 2) Don’t take anything personally; 3) Don’t make assumptions; 4) Always do your best.

 

The second agreement is particularly helpful, at least for me as a person who serves in the public sphere. This is how Don Miguel Ruiz describes how we might not take anything personally: “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own [experience]. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” We all think, say, and do things for our own reasons, based upon the way we were raised and educated. In other words, we all come to see and respond to people and events in our lives through our own filters. So thus, I seek to not take anything personally. But I often have to remind myself of this fairly often, especially when my feelings get hurt.

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The best advice we can live by comes from God’s Word. The writer of the letter to the Colossians advises us, “23 Whatever task you must do, work as if your soul depends on it, as for the Lord and not for humans,  24  since you know that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward; you serve the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23-24). The best way for us Christians to navigate our lives and relationships, and whatever we set our hearts and minds to do is to stay focused on Jesus and serve only him! The best way for any of us Christians to live our lives is to let Jesus guide and strengthen us. Yes, people will have their opinions of us, but what counts is our faith, trust, and reliance in Christ Jesus. What ultimately counts is God’s opinion of us. God loves us! By our faith in Christ Jesus, God sees us as God’s beloved, forgiven children. That is what truly gets us through any given day. Amen.

     

Journeying with you in Christ,

Pastor Jay